My Girl is turning 4! How Being a Mom Changed my Life

Today I had this huge urge to write about my girl and how being a mom has changed my life. You see, she’s turning 4 and I have no idea how that happened. I mean, I still feel like it was yesterday when I had to wake up my hubby at 5 am telling him it was time to go to the hospital, that she was coming. I still feel like it was only yesterday I pushed with all my strength to bring to this word my most loved little human being. How can she be turning 4 already?

My Girl is turning 4! How Being a Mom Changed my Life

My Girl is turning 4! How Being a Mom Changed my Life

If you are a mommy like me reading this then you probably know what I’m talking about and know the feeling. When we become a mom, our whole world changes and also changes the way we see the world and our lives!

Being a mommy has been the biggest bless I’ve ever had and God knows how thankful I am to have her. Sometimes I even try to figure out how among so much imperfection and mistakes made, that so hard relationship I’ve always had with my mom, with all those bad decision, I could ever have deserve such a perfect and amazing little human being. What did I do so right that I could create inside me that amazing little girl?

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Em never stops surprising me with her huge heart and capacity of understanding of her surrounding. I’ve got from her at her short age more support and love than I have in my entire life. She’s the kind of person that when I lay down in my bed out of bedtime {that is not something that happens very often}, she asks me “Mommy are you ok” me: yes love, just a little headache. She would go to my bedroom door and close it, then to the bathroom and close the door too so my bedroom would be darker and lay down next to me absolutely quiet, just there hanging with me!

She sees me making all these things for her birthday party, and she would tell me “Mommy I love everything that you are making, thank you! I love it!” over and over again. I have the bleesing and pleasure to hear her saying all the time: “Mommy I love you so much!!!” How would I not want to make anything for her?… know what I mean?

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I love watching her sleep, you know! When she’s sleeping I feel so many things, I see my own personal angel. I feel so loved and the love I feel is too big to contain it. It’s such connection I can barely understand. Sometimes she’s playing by herself and we look at each other and it’s like we know what we are thinking and we just laugh and she keeps playing and I keep working. Seeing her grow is priceless. When she sleeps I keep looking at her trying to figure out what did I do to deserve her!

This kind of makes me think about my relationship with my mom. It’s been so hard, ever since I can remember. I don’t think I could ever understand why we never had that connection. The only time I actually felt it was while I was pregnant. Maybe that was God’s plan, I just haven’t figured it out yet. I would love with all my heart to have had this connection I have with Em, with my mom. I never thought, based on my own experience, that being a mom could make you love and fear so fiercely at the same time.

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Yes, I fear too. I fear something could happen to Em. I fear I won’t be able to protect her from everything, although I will always try, I fear to see her heart broken, I fear not being there for her when she needs me, I fear making mistakes that might hurt our connection, most of all, I fear leaving her too soon. Why? Because we take life for granted and we don’t know when can be the last day or what words can be the last spoken.

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Why do I feel this you may ask? Well many things that have happened around me have made me thinking. A couple friends of my mom’s, died, just like that. One of them was found dead without specific reasons. Recently I read about Chocholate, Chocolate and more blog’s writer story. She went to bed and never woke up. That’s too hard to take in. And recently we all got the scare of our lives when doctors found something weird on my mom’s breast.

I avoided thinking about it, I acted like nothing was going on, I just didn’t want to even give the chance that she could be going through all that mess of cancer, and I hated it. Just the thought of loosing her was killing me.

Then it also hit me, If she had it, I could have chances too. I tried to make it seem not so important or less probable. The truth is that I got so scared and not because of me, but because of my girl. Just the thought of going through all that, making her go through all that and maybe not making it scared the heck out of me.

Then the final results of biopsy came and thank God, mom was fine, healthy and with nothing to worry about. Mom started crying with such deep feelings, I think we all realized how scared we were in that very moment. I realized I was in complete denial. I didn’t want to give it the chance to be real.

But when all that stress was gone, I started thinking about how life is. Life is unpredictable. Only God knows when it’s time and we have little saying on it. We can have a long, long happy life or we can just be called and that’s it. We don’t have anything granted and we all should realize that and enjoy more each day, not letting small stupid things take away happiness, letting stupid arguments be the last things we say. We should cherish and enjoy the beautiful things life gives us.

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My little girl is that beautiful thing to cherish and enjoy!… She’s not a thing I know, but you get the point LOL. She’s what makes me start each day, she’s my motivation, she’s the light that brightens my path. She makes me want to be better; she makes me keep fighting for our dreams and goals. My girl is the most beautiful and perfect person in my whole world. I don’t care if she gets intense, spoiled, trying to get things her way, even if she behaves badly sometimes. She’s still perfect for me, I‘m proud of her, I’m proud of each step she takes, of every mistake she fixes, of the amazing strength she has and of every single accomplishment she gets.

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She’s her own person, she’s who she is, I don’t want to change her, I don’t want to make her be anything. I want her to always be what and who she is. I only want to guide her so she can be the best version of herself and always be prod of herself. I can only hope she will always trust me and will use everything that I teach her. I can only trust in her and in what I’m giving her. I know I’m not perfect and that I might be making tons of mistakes but I do what my heart tells me and I trust in my gut and in God.

I hope I have a long life to see her grow, graduate, get married, achieve her goals in life, have her kids and why not? Even see her grow old. But one thing I’m sure is that I’m holding on to each day to get to see her and love her. I also hold on to each day to enjoy my family; my hubby, my mom, my dad and also my biological father and family.

No one said life was going to be easy but when my time comes I don’t want to have any regrets. I want to have lived to the fullest, to have forgiven and be forgiven. I want to have been happy and have made happy the people I love and most importantly, have been a good mother to her. Nothing else!

I know this story sounds sad, and its kind of is, but the bottom line here is that life is a collection of moments and a life based on bad moments, regrets, negativity, not letting people in just because you always expect the worse, it’s a complete waste of life. Life is a collection of moments; let’s fill it with beautiful, amazing, exciting, loving, unforgettable moments, shall we?

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Hope I made any sense here I just let my heart speak, I just let my heart out, so since reason is not heart’s brighter side LOL, I just let it speak!.

Thanks for taking the time to read this far!

If you are a mom too, I would love to know how being a mom changed your life! Tell me all about in comments!

   
Cami @ The Crafting Nook by TitiCrafty

Visit TitiCrafty by Camila's profile on Pinterest.

I have 20 Lovely Comments, I would love to have yours... on My Girl is turning 4! How Being a Mom Changed my Life

  1. avatar
    Cathy Mini says:
    November 26, 2015

    Well, I’m not a mom but reading your post made me tear up a little bit! Such a beautiful relationship you have with your little girl–love reading about your life! xo

    • avatar
      Camila says:
      November 28, 2015

      Thank you so much Cathy!!!! I’m so glad I have this relationship with her. Although it’s hard when I need to be a MOM and correct whatever she’s doing, but she has such a personality that I don’t really need to go there often which let us enjoy more! I’m really glad things are like that and I so hope it stays that way LOL. Thank you for your constant support and love girly!
      XOXO

  2. avatar
    Kadie says:
    November 24, 2015

    It’s such a range of emotion raising kids! You are fearful for them but don’t want to hold them back. I’m so glad your mom is ok and that you get to spend more time with her. Hope you had a wonderful day with your little one. 🙂

    • avatar
      Camila says:
      November 28, 2015

      Thank you so much, your kind words are so appreciated! Mom is perfect and we did have a wonderful and super fun day!!! She enjoyed her party so much!
      THANK YOU
      XOXO

  3. avatar
    November 24, 2015

    So adorable. I don’t have kids yet but I can imagine how truly special they are.

    • avatar
      Camila says:
      November 28, 2015

      They so truly are, wait and see when you have your own!!!
      XOXO

  4. avatar
    Meagan says:
    November 24, 2015

    What a sweet story! You are the cutest mom and I hope I look as good as you do when I’m pregnant. She is so lucky to have you and is a beautiful little girl. Such a fun post!

    • avatar
      Camila says:
      November 28, 2015

      Thank you so much Meagan… I’m sure you will look gorgeous!!!!
      Hugs

  5. avatar
    Adrienne says:
    November 24, 2015

    Hey Cami,

    I hope you two had the best day ever yesterday and I can’t believe she’s growing up so fast.

    I’m glad that everything turned out okay with your Mom but it’s things like that that helps put things into perspective. We should never take like for granted and enjoy every single moment we have here on this earth. Like you said, life isn’t promised. It can be taken from us today. The most important thing is to always tell those who mean the most to you how you feel about them.

    I have a feeling you’re going to be around for a very long time and Em is going to be spoiled for many more years to come. I can’t wait to watch that too.

    Love you girl,

    ~Adrienne

    • avatar
      Camila says:
      November 24, 2015

      Hi Adrienne!!!

      So nice to have you visiting today! Thank you for you kind words. Yes, definitely this kind of life experiences help getting a new perspective and I’m glad I went through this and that everything came out fine, and mom is fine. I tell the people I love “I love you” all the time. Sadly when relationships get hard we stop saying it but it doesn’t mean we don’t feel it it’s just harder to connect and that’s what I’m working on. I’m glad that with Em, things are already perfect and I so want it to stay that way. She is an amazing human being, and I’ve heard that God doesn’t send us what we want, He sends us what we NEED, and I so needed her. I can’t say enough how grateful I am to God for that!… Life can be so short, we all should enjoy each moment, right?

      Thank you again my wonderful friends for taking the time to read my post. Going personal is never easy for me and your words gave me more courage!

      XOXO lots

  6. avatar
    November 24, 2015

    I just recently became a step-mom to a wonderful 6 year old boy!! Even though he is not my flesh and blood, I feel like he is and it is an amazing feeling 🙂 Happy birthday to your little girl!!

    • avatar
      Camila says:
      November 24, 2015

      Hi Rebecca, I have a step dad myself and it does feel like flesh and blood, so I know the feeling. I’m glad you feel that way and he probably feel it too! Being a mom is an amazing feeling indeed!!! Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by!
      Hugs

  7. avatar
    LydiaF says:
    November 24, 2015

    I feel like I’ve been privileged to watch her grow and change through your eyes while following your blog. Thank yo for sharing your beautiful child with us.

    • avatar
      Camila says:
      November 24, 2015

      Thank you Lydia! It’s incredible that she was only 1 YO when I first started blogging… She has changed so much, hasn’t she? Thank you so much for stopping by!!!
      XOXO

  8. avatar
    Melanie says:
    November 23, 2015

    I really like all of your photos! They are lovely!

    • avatar
      Camila says:
      November 24, 2015

      Thank you Melanie! Glad you like them!
      Hugs

  9. avatar
    November 23, 2015

    First, your daughter is absolutely adoroable! What a wonderful person she is right now. Bet she is going to grow up to be a very giving person. Thank you for reminding us to never take life for granted. It is a simple idea but deeply profound.

    • avatar
      Camila says:
      November 24, 2015

      Hi Rini, Thank you so much for your sweet words. I truly hope she turns into a giving person… That’s what I’m trying to teach her. I definitely needed to write this so I remember it every day. I don’t want to take life for granted so I can deeply enjoy each day. But of course not in the way thinking something will happen tomorrow, but yes in a way we really hold on to the important things and not give that huge importance to silly things! Thank you for taking the time to read my story!!!
      XOXO

    • avatar
      Camila says:
      November 23, 2015

      Kids do Rock our world! And I cound’t be happier to have her in my life!!! Thank you for taking the time to visit!
      Hugs

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